I watched with apprehension and disbelieve as the dimwitted woman signaled to her drunken male friend to help her move the precious green sofa that she had just purchased from me. The disoriented man was heavily inebriated, and judging from the smell exuding from his breathe, he’d been in that drunken state for a few hours. Poor Hubby was the accidental victim of said stupor as drunk skunk kept shoving the heavy sectional toward him and pinning him against the wall.
On top of that, drunk skunk’s “assistant” further worsened my misery and pain as I helplessly stood by and watched them emasculate my furniture. Assistant proceeded to use her muddy shoes to carelessly stomp on a section of the sofa in her attempt to force it through the narrow hallway of my home. I presumed it never occurred to drunk’s assistant to maneuver the sectional and not force the thing to bend, but then again, judging by the company she keeps it’s easy to understand her misguided logic.
After helplessly watching for what seemed like hours, I finally gave up and retreated to my empty bedroom. Seems even the picture frame I have of my family is gone. While sitting on the floor of my dark and hallow room, I envision the drunk skunk and his assistant tearing off the edges of the sofa and ripping into the cushions while they attempt to negotiate it into their abode. Why did she ask her inebriated friend and his equally disabled assistant to help her? Rhetorical question as she’s in good company.
There’s only two explanations for this perplexing behavior. They’re either not very good friends, which logically flows from the way they mistreated her new sofa, or they were preemptive about the three day weekend ahead. Either way, the utter lack of respect and conscientiousness shown to her new furniture appalled me on a fundamental level. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist, nuclear physicist, immigration attorney, or brain surgeon to know that things do not last if you mistreat it. Additionally, if you’re unfortunate enough to be volunteered into moving someone’s furniture, at least have the courtesy of removing your shoes before you stomp on their belongings, particularly when the astonished owner is glaring at you with jaw dropped!!
As I listened to them descend the stairs, I had another thought. Perhaps I can refund them their money, eject them from the house, and have the sofa shipped to the in laws. They seem to have plenty of storage space and eventually I’d make my way there to reclaim it along with my designer bags. Hmmmm… the only remaining issue is how to get Binlaw to agree to pay for the shipping cost.